Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Damn kids and their Diablo 3: The lament of a console gamer

So, as many of you might or might know, I was born in the 80's. My first images as a self-aware human being was MC Hammer pants, neon and Vanilla Ice hairstyles. The first sounds my ears ever processed and accepted as the norm was friendly pre-gangster rap. Notorious was still BIG, before he changed sex and changed his name to Missy Elliot.

This all meant one fantastic thing: Years later I would be of optimal age to play Diablo 2. Anything else was quire irrelevant, really. I have to humbly admit that I did not play the first Diablo as I was only exposed to my Golden China console and a bit later, the 8-bit Sega console. Yeah I know, if I had better grades I would probably have gotten the shiny Megadrive but that is a completely different story (read: rant).

Okay, so where was I? Oh yes. Fast forward to me, a spotty teenage kid with loads of time to waste. Enter, Diablo 2.

My life was over. Had I guessed that I would still be playing it near 12-years later I would have paid it a little more respect but I jumped right in and devoured every minute of it.

From the first Act it was a non-stop race to the finish and once you were done nothing could stop you from doing it all again. You needed more loot...you needed better loot and you needed to make the world of Sanctuary a better place to live in.

Mephisto runs, Council runs, Smith runs...these were my world, and now and then I would complete the Cow Level for a few laughs. It was the ultimate game. Its cut scenes were magnificent and still exceeds most game cinematics today, its playability was par none and the longevity speaks for itself.

Okay, so you've now noticed that this is another one of my sugar-coated nostalgia trips but I ensure you, it is a lot more bitter than that.

I've made you read all of this just so you can clearly emphasise how much I wish I was playing Diablo 3 right now. Why in the name of all 7 Lesser Evils am I writing this blog instead of pimping my magic-find kit?

If your answer was: "You probably just felt like ranting about something" then you are only half right. Three quarters. Four fifths. Whatever, it doesn't matter.

What does matter than this... Blizzard, as a console gamer, I beseech thee! Don't let my decision to be a console gamer stand between my and sweet, sweet levelling. Is it so bad that all I want to do is travel east, always east?

Sigh, I guess that means it is time to upgrade my pc. My pc is an asshole. 

Diablo 2, I will never forget you.

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