Star Wars 1313

I've been rewatching the "enhanced" Star Wars films the last while, and I couldn't help but scoff at how they were butchered by George Lucas. No, I'm not even talking about Anakin and JarJar, I'm talking about all the "additions" made to the originals which are such a contrast that it essentially ruins a few of my favourite scenes.

That is another discussion for another time, though. The point I am trying to make is that there is loads of potential in the Star Wars universe. There are countless amazing stories that have been penned and imagined, most of which exceed the original franchise materials but somewhere the people that make the big decisions have dumbed it down to a level where most fans just prefer to give up on the Star Wars universe.

Now and then a bit of news gives us all new hope, though (see what I did there?). This week it takes the shape of Star Wars 1313, a new game that is in development.

The player will take the role of a as yet unnamed bounty hunter that uses a range of exotic weapons to plough through 1313, a very dangerous location on or underneath Coruscant, to bring criminals to justice. By justice, I am pretty sure they mean "a messy and violent death".

The game promises to cater for a more mature audience, with epic set pieces and fast gameplay.

I am definitely holding thumbs. I enjoyed Force Unleashed 1 and Knights of the Old Republic but something fresh is definitely needed. Though, I haven't tried the Star Wars MMO.

Damn kids and their Diablo 3: The lament of a console gamer

So, as many of you might or might know, I was born in the 80's. My first images as a self-aware human being was MC Hammer pants, neon and Vanilla Ice hairstyles. The first sounds my ears ever processed and accepted as the norm was friendly pre-gangster rap. Notorious was still BIG, before he changed sex and changed his name to Missy Elliot.

This all meant one fantastic thing: Years later I would be of optimal age to play Diablo 2. Anything else was quire irrelevant, really. I have to humbly admit that I did not play the first Diablo as I was only exposed to my Golden China console and a bit later, the 8-bit Sega console. Yeah I know, if I had better grades I would probably have gotten the shiny Megadrive but that is a completely different story (read: rant).

Okay, so where was I? Oh yes. Fast forward to me, a spotty teenage kid with loads of time to waste. Enter, Diablo 2.

My life was over. Had I guessed that I would still be playing it near 12-years later I would have paid it a little more respect but I jumped right in and devoured every minute of it.

From the first Act it was a non-stop race to the finish and once you were done nothing could stop you from doing it all again. You needed more loot...you needed better loot and you needed to make the world of Sanctuary a better place to live in.

Mephisto runs, Council runs, Smith runs...these were my world, and now and then I would complete the Cow Level for a few laughs. It was the ultimate game. Its cut scenes were magnificent and still exceeds most game cinematics today, its playability was par none and the longevity speaks for itself.

Okay, so you've now noticed that this is another one of my sugar-coated nostalgia trips but I ensure you, it is a lot more bitter than that.

I've made you read all of this just so you can clearly emphasise how much I wish I was playing Diablo 3 right now. Why in the name of all 7 Lesser Evils am I writing this blog instead of pimping my magic-find kit?

If your answer was: "You probably just felt like ranting about something" then you are only half right. Three quarters. Four fifths. Whatever, it doesn't matter.

What does matter than this... Blizzard, as a console gamer, I beseech thee! Don't let my decision to be a console gamer stand between my and sweet, sweet levelling. Is it so bad that all I want to do is travel east, always east?

Sigh, I guess that means it is time to upgrade my pc. My pc is an asshole. 

Diablo 2, I will never forget you.

Fallout: New Vegas ... some details revealed!

Well, well well. No seriously, I threw my Fallout 3 character down a well and he totally survived. He was hardcore, definitely more hardcore than my bro Denai's wimpy little miscreant.

Geeky rivalry aside, I can't wait for New Vegas. It promises to be everything that Fallout 3 was, just so much better.

I think it might just change my life. Well, the bits of my life where I play Xbox 360. I see another bitter rivalry in our future, brother Dennis.

Check out these scanned pages: (Credit to the find goes to Mr. Larch and his always informative blog)

Zombies! Hell yeah.

What would you do if you find yourself in an abandoned shack in the middle of nowhere, and suddenly you are surrounded by zombies?

Actually, any zombie survivor worth his weight in headshots would already be holed up in a supermarket shagging Sarah Polley by now, but hey...who am I to judge?


If you DO find yourself in the first (less awesome) scenario then there is a way to find out. That's right: Oh No...Zombies! You guys go ahead, I'm calling Sarah.